Here I go again - the start of a few weeks of sleepless nights and over eating to calm my twisted nerves -ok deep breath.

In just a few hours I will be sitting in an office drinking…let me guess, a bad tasting orange solution prepping for another CT scan. God I hate those test and after 5 year it does not seem any easier or fun.  I can  still clearly remember the first time I had a CT - and it was no fun. The combination of having to over fill my belly by drinking a milky chalk like “shake” and the iodine injected into my veins made me though up all over the machine and whoever else was around.  Being tied down to a table did not help much as vomit collected in  he back of my throat and starting choking me - I warned them it was coming..they just didn’t believe me.  I still have that gag reflex thing going on but I have learned to control it much better - the up chuck happens at the end now instead of the middle. I know I am being a big baby - but I still stand by my story…I hate having these test done.

Later this week I will go in again - this time I will visit my friends down in Nuclear Medicine for a PET scan.  The PET scan is not so bad and I am actually required to lay still for one hour…I just hope it won’t take them 20 minutes of them digging around in my arm with a needle to find my vain this time.  The one complaint I have this test is the cold -does it really need to be so cold in there?

The next few weeks of waiting for the results will be toucher - if it is bad, I really don’t want to know.  I am so tired of dealing with all of this and I want it to go away for good - I just want to enjoy life without this “thing” hanging over me like a dark cloud. OK…DEEP BREATH. 

Well, my heart is heavy as I wait and I will continue to keep myself busy as a way to prevent insanity - I don’t think that has set in as yet. I am starting to think that I should call and put all of this off for a month or two.  First I should get though the holidays, then maybe after Gio’s birthday. Hmmmm…maybe it’s to late - but insanity is relative.

I know in the end it will be ok, I just wish I could fast forward and be done already. I will pst something more cheerful when I get back.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 02nd, 2008 and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or Trackback from your own site.