Dec.
02
Here I go again - the start of a few weeks of sleepless nights and over eating to calm my twisted nerves -ok deep breath.
In just a few hours I will be sitting in an office drinking…let me guess, a bad tasting orange solution prepping for another CT scan. God I hate those test and after 5 year it does not seem any easier or fun. I can still clearly remember the first time I had a CT - and it was no fun. The combination of having to over fill my belly by drinking a milky chalk like “shake” and the iodine injected into my veins made me though up all over the machine and whoever else was around. Being tied down to a table did not help much as vomit collected in he back of my throat and starting choking me - I warned them it was coming..they just didn’t believe me. I still have that gag reflex thing going on but I have learned to control it much better - the up chuck happens at the end now instead of the middle. I know I am being a big baby - but I still stand by my story…I hate having these test done.
Later this week I will go in again - this time I will visit my friends down in Nuclear Medicine for a PET scan. The PET scan is not so bad and I am actually required to lay still for one hour…I just hope it won’t take them 20 minutes of them digging around in my arm with a needle to find my vain this time. The one complaint I have this test is the cold -does it really need to be so cold in there?
The next few weeks of waiting for the results will be toucher - if it is bad, I really don’t want to know. I am so tired of dealing with all of this and I want it to go away for good - I just want to enjoy life without this “thing” hanging over me like a dark cloud. OK…DEEP BREATH.
Well, my heart is heavy as I wait and I will continue to keep myself busy as a way to prevent insanity - I don’t think that has set in as yet. I am starting to think that I should call and put all of this off for a month or two. First I should get though the holidays, then maybe after Gio’s birthday. Hmmmm…maybe it’s to late - but insanity is relative.
I know in the end it will be ok, I just wish I could fast forward and be done already. I will pst something more cheerful when I get back.